Is Leaving a Baby to Cry Really Helpful?
New Study on Crying It Out: What Does It Mean for Infant Mental Health?
This week, a new study emerged focusing on the effects of letting babies cry alone and its impact on attachment at 18 months. As someone deeply interested in infant mental health, this research caught my eye. While I haven’t yet had the chance to read the full study, the linked summary provides some intriguing insights. Here’s a breakdown of how this study fits into our current understanding of childhood trauma and attachment.
Key Findings and Their Implications
The study suggests that letting babies cry it out occasionally during the first few months is associated with shorter crying durations at 18 months. Additionally, these children seemed to pass the "strange situation" test at 18 months without significant signs of attachment issues. While this sounds promising, I can’t help but wonder about the long-term impacts and whether these outcomes truly reflect a child's overall attachment pathway. It’s reassuring to know there aren’t significant attachment issues, but we need to consider the broader context.
The Role of Resilience and Trauma
We’re learning that resilient children can often balance negative experiences with protective factors and come out okay. However, this doesn’t mean we should deliberately expose children to trauma, even if we support them through it. Our goal should always be to protect our children from hardship that could undermine the foundational elements of infant mental health.
The study suggests that experiences like crying it out might influence how infants expect to be treated. Neurobiological research indicates that early experiences can shape brain wiring, and the effects of negative experiences might be moderated by positive interactions later on. Ideally, as babies grow, positive experiences and responsive parenting should outweigh early negative experiences.
Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) shows that the more traumatic events children face, the more significant the impact on their lifelong mental and physical health. Some ACEs are unavoidable—such as abuse or parental divorce—while others, like neglect or exposure to parental mental health issues, might be mitigated with the right approach.
Reducing ACEs is crucial for improving child outcomes. While it seems possible for children to recover from certain adversities, the process is often challenging for their developing systems. This is why reducing avoidable negative experiences remains a key focus for those of us working in infant mental health.
The Balancing Act: Building Resilience
The concept of resilience involves creating a strong “fulcrum” for children, where positive experiences and protective factors help balance out the negative ones. Consistent positive interactions, kindness, and responsiveness contribute to building this resilience. Children with strong resilience are better equipped to handle negative experiences without them having a lasting impact.
When parents face difficult decisions—such as managing a child’s distress in a medical setting—they might have to choose between short-term discomfort and long-term benefits. Ideally, these choices should be made with an eye toward maintaining emotional security and connection.
The Complexity of Parenting Choices
Parenting often involves making tough decisions that might not align perfectly with ideal practices. For example, dealing with postpartum mood disorders might necessitate difficult choices like letting a baby cry for a short period. While such decisions can be necessary, they should be balanced with as much love and affection as possible.
The challenge is to ensure that these unavoidable negative experiences don’t outweigh the positive interactions that build resilience. Responsive parenting, connection, and consistent emotional support should always be prioritized.
Finding Your Balance
Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer for parenting. Whether you choose to respond immediately to your baby’s cries or let them fuss for a bit, it’s important to follow your instincts and make decisions that feel right for your family. Ensuring that positive interactions outweigh negative ones will help support your child’s emotional and developmental needs.
If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, attachment, and building resilience, consider taking the Alberta Brain Story course. It’s a free, accessible resource that provides valuable insights into neurobiology and trauma. For personalized guidance, feel free to book a visit with me!
In the end, parenting is a balancing act. By staying connected, responsive, and informed, you can navigate the complexities of parenting while supporting your child's mental and emotional health.